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Joke of the Day

"My friend was worried about the results of his HIV test, so I told him to assume he was going to die. I don't see why he got angry at me though, I was just want him to be negative."

"What did the Ottoman Sultan do when he got home from campaigning? He got his dick out for his Haram bae's."

"Nurse: You can come inside now. *Stands up* *Dusts off jacket* *Straightens bow tie* *Fastens cufflinks* *Ahem* ""That's what she said"""

"Why was Hitler bad at math? Because could never find the Final Solution."

"2 whales walk into a bar. First whale says: ooooEEEEEEEEaaaayyyyyuuuuuuaaaaaa eeeeooOOOOYAIIIAIIIEYOOOooooooo Second whale says: Shut up Steve, you're drunk"

"How often do Chinese people have elections? When they wake up every morning."

"A Rabbit's foot is considered good luck! A Camel's toe should be considered really good luck!!"

"I've learned from my mistakes. I make bigger and better mistakes than ever now."

"What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad? Chin up pal."

"Here's a tip for when you're feeling shit. Wear gloves"