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Joke of the Day

"Do you know how to fry toilet paper? Neither do i....i can only brown one side :)"

"Hi yes, I'd like the cheeseburger ""How would you like that cooked?"" *gets right up in waitresses face* With frickin fire, obviously"

"How do skeletons communicate? A cell bone. *just got it off a popsicle."

"""They say penguins can't fly. Can't? Or never got the chance?"" I whisper in the penguin's ear, shoving him out of the aircraft."

"I have developed an intolerance to gluten- -free people"

"If you see me running down the road crying, it's because I hate running."

"What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's favourite melee weapon? A scimitARRR"

"I lost my thesaurus when I was little... I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt."

"Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"

"Roses are red and sometimes they're thorny, when I think of you, I get really ..............."