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Joke of the Day

"Marriage If a couple gets married in Alabama... And divorced in Mississippi... Are they still brother and sister?"

"Me: Mistakes my own hair for a spider at least once a day & screams Also me: [watching Criminal Minds] I could totally be a cop"

"Why can't you tell jokes to a Nympho? Because they'll take them too hard."

"""Guess I'll turn on the news to see what the government is up to"" - The President of the United States"

"Why do Muslim extremists prefer to drink cappuccino? Because they hate french press."

"friendship is so weird.. you just pick a human you've met and you're like ""yup I like this one"" and you just do stuff with them"

"Why are Chameleons surprisingly good at flying? Because they are always in duh skies"

"What do you call a gay anemic? homo-goblin"

"There are 3 types of people in the world. Those who know math and those who don't."

"I didn't recognize you It's amazing how a person can compliment and insult you at the same time. Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, ""You look so gorgeous, I didn't recognize you."""