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Joke of the Day
"What idiot called him Alexander graham bell instead of lord of the rings"
Next Joke
"I figured out that if I have my kids hold on to my cell phone, I will never forget them anywhere again."
"Did you hear about the explosion in the cheese factory? There was de-brie everywhere."
"I'm torn on what i really think about masturbation. on one hand it feels good."
"Some young boy just knocked on my door saying ""I am collecting for the local swimming pool."" So I gave him a glass of water"
"No thanks, heavy metal concert. If I want lots of screaming without understanding the words I'll just hang out with my toddler."
"Karma is my daughter bragging about getting to sleep late this week and forgetting to turn off her alarm."
"I went to the gym and asked the guy there to teach me how to do the splits..... He said 'how flexible are you?' I said 'I can't do Thursdays.' Credit: Tommy Cooper"
"If they ever reboot Grease, it must be directed by M. Night Shama-lamma-ding-dong."
"Its sad... Its sad that Wile E. Coyote is remembered for his violence instead of his brilliant paintings of tunnels"