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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog !"

"Son, we don't play Hungry Hungry Hippos for ""fun."" We play it to learn how friends turn on each other in moments of desperation and scarcity"

"Why is it called a Mango? Because Mancome wasn't selling"

"Rosa Parks her ass on the bus seat"

"IT'S THE COPS. COME OUT WITH UR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD. ""Bring out my bread? NO ABOVE UR HEAD ""Hello 911? Ducks are pretending to be cops"""

"I'd like to tell you guys a chemistry joke But based on my experience so far in this sub, I'm sure I won't get any reaction"

"A man in the restroom today almost pissed on my pants from the next urinal over. I yelled at him and he said ""It's alright man. Wouldn't you rather be pissed off than pissed on?"""

"I nearly bought a car today but had a lucky escape when I checked the fine print I discovered it had driver aids ..!"

"I like my women how I like my bicycles, chained up in the garage."

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma One has claws on it's paws. The other is a pause in a clause."