36534

Joke of the Day

"Whenever anyone mentions something about a vicious cycle, I imagine an evil bike that can't stop killing."

"Him: Are you gonna kill me? Me: WHAT? Him: Your mood swings. I figured today's the day I die. Me: Him: *whispers* Please don't hurt me."

"I was the top student at Ninja school, but I failed because they kept marking me absent."

"What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits your windshield? Its butt."

"All we want is to get laid and for no one to touch our cell phones."

"I like girls in high heels They're always on there toes Whacka, whacka"

"What did the judge say to the attractive woman soaked in pee? You're an eight."

"Just be yourself. All the good personalities are taken."

"Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world, I know because I've done it thousands of times. - shout out to good ol' Mark twain."

"The difference between a prostitute and drug dealer? A prostitute can wash her crack and resell it."