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Joke of the Day

"I was the top student at Ninja school, but I failed because they kept marking me absent."

"""So what kind of work do you do?"" ""I move cows"" ""Oh , so you're a rancher?"" ""Not really , I'm a zumba instructor"""

"[Michael Bay directing] ""WE NEED A HOTTER CHICK"" Teacher: This is your son's 3rd grade play ""Oh right. I forgot. WE NEED BIGGER EXPLOSIONS"""

"Hey guys, wanna hear a joke? feminism."

"I wonder what Hillary Clinton will do after she dies.... Most likely she'll lie still"

"If I were Obama, I'd totally lead with ""My fellow Americans, the situation looks popeless."" #SOTU"

"What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund? A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money"

"What can a goose do that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? Stick his bill up his ass."

"The jokes on pregnancy are not easy to get... It's pretty much inside jokes."

"#1: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?"