36440

Joke of the Day

"Every time I think I've come up with a great FB status and no one likes it I die a little inside"

"""And what do your parents do?"" BABY COW: Well, my mom is basically a vending machine and my dad is hamburgers"

"You guys wanna hear something really corny? Syrup."

"the racists in this town are so proud of their lack of pigmentation you'd think they had actually chose it themselves :)"

"I always rode clean. Always. Never won any bike races. Never competed. Don't even really know how to ride a bike. #vindicated"

"The guy who invented predictive text died last night... his funfair is next monkey"

"What do you call it when three french cats get into a boat only meant for two? Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq!"

"What did the dick say to the balls? You two wait outside."

"My friend got fired from his job selling industrial vacuum cleaners. It's cool though he said it sucked."

"[interview] What's your greatest weakness? ME: Probably avoiding tough questions Can you elaborate on that? ME: Oh hey look at the time!"