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Joke of the Day

"""Mom?"" ""Yes?"" ""Are we having seafood for dinner?"" ""No, why?"" ""I heard Dad on the phone."" ""And?"" ""He said that he picked up a case of crabs."""

"Did you hear about the skywriter's autobiography? It was way over my head."

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Their kids haven't ."

"What did Michael Jackson almost name his daughter? Nata-LEE-HEE!"

"Why did the snowman smile? He heard that the snow-blower was in town."

"How come Smokey the Bear doesn't have any kids? Because everytime his wife gets hot ,he covers her with dirt and beats her with a shovel. :-P"

"Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house? His life was at stake. Badum psh."

"Studies show that, on average, humans kept in cubicles live just as long as free-range humans."

"God said He loves me? That's awkward. Tell Him I want to see other people."

"Procrastination is a lot like masturbation... It's all great until you realize you're just fucking yourself."