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Joke of the Day
"What's a vampire's favorite drink? A Bloody Mary."
Next Joke
"What did the Mexican wife say to her Husband? You'll never be president, Jeb."
"I tried to make a smoothie for lunch. Apparently, three frozen pizzas will break a juicer."
"What are Mario's overalls made out of? Denim denim denim."
"How is using the Pirate Bay like hiring a prostitute? Only nerds brag about doing it"
"Being all talk and no action sounds relaxing."
"I turn my phone off overnight. A 3am text either means bad news or drunk people, and both make more sense in the morning."
"Twitter handles are what would happen if the DMV let everyone put whatever they wanted on their license plates."
"Asked exterminator if he chose the bug life or the bug life chose him. In the ensuing silence I assume he imagined me dying by fumigation."
"""Eat shit and die!"" -- Fly teaching his son about life"