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Joke of the Day

"Guy walks into a bakery and sees a green loaf of bread and asks the baker how he made it Baker says ""Avocadough"""

"My grandad used to swear by refrigerators. And televisions. In fact, he was probably the most foul-mouthed member of staff Comet ever had."

"Let's play ""Is it an adjective or a verb?"" I love fucking pickles!"

"Still carry my keys one-poking-out-like-a-weapon-style in case I'm attacked by a not very tough rapist with thin skin."

"My friend asked me, ""What is a palindrome?"" I said, ""No, it's not."""

"A guy with a gun walks into a bar.. ""Which one of you fuckers slept with my wife?!"" A voice from the back shouted ""I don't think you have enough bullets, mate"""

"Atheists are missing the boat. Without God you're responsible for your actions."

"I like my sex like I like my math Discrete"

"""Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants"" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows"

"I'm so tired, I just typed a tweet into my GPS. It responded with directions to my day job."