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Joke of the Day

"A guy with a gun walks into a bar.. ""Which one of you fuckers slept with my wife?!"" A voice from the back shouted ""I don't think you have enough bullets, mate"""

"There should be a Photoshop function to automatically remove unwanted trolls from the background of your pictures 'Photo Balm'"

"I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, ""What's up mate, won't it start?"""

"What do you call a mexican who just took a shower? A clean beaner."

"My dating life."

"Forgot my Fitbit because it was charging and now it's like I walked for no reason."

"I rented a tuxedo then didn't need it. Do you know how hard it is to sublet a tuxedo?"

"Doctor's wife was told she was terrible in bed. After coming home late, the Doctor accused her of cheating. She responded, ""I wasn't out cheating, I was out getting a second opinion."""

"What kind of soap do you use to clean a dirty joke? Bawdy wash."

"Why should you never trust a one armed philosophy professor? He never mentions ""on the other hand"""