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Joke of the Day

"Why don't Italians do bondage? Because they can't say the safeword while they're wearing handcuffs."

"Some guy at a party asked me, ""Who's cheese is on those chips?"" [Fixed] And I said, ""Well, obviously *na-chos*."" Get it? It sounds like '*not yours*' with an accent."

"What's green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? a pool table."

"Is your refrigerator running? Better go catch it!"

"What does Belathor call his balls? His treasures."

"Say one positive thing about your opponent Well...he does convert oxygen into carbon dioxide which helps trees grow."

"Tonight on My Strange Addition Man addicted to brake fluid claims he can stop at any time"

"Been experiencing bad diarrhea for 2 years and finally getting some medication I guess you can say I'm getting my shit together again."

"I wrote 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?' on a balloon. However, before I could propose... -I popped the question"

"This old dude from Europe is everywhere. The one that is making everybody cry."