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Joke of the Day

"I wrote 'WILL YOU MARRY ME?' on a balloon. However, before I could propose... -I popped the question"

"When my toaster broke, my wife left me. I guess she was lack toast intolerant"

"Priest and a Hindu are making breakfast.. The priest is spreading on margarine and exclaims, ""Look! It's Jesus in the spread!"" Shocked, the Hindu replies, ""Wow, I can't believe it's not Buddha."""

"What do dark jokes and food have in common? Not everyone gets them"

"What is the speed of sex? 68... because at 69 you have to turn around"

"I'm so smart, I've got more brains than... Kurt Cobain's ceiling"

"Have you seen the photo of me and REM? That's me in the corner."

"What do you call a fruit that isn't allowed to marry? A cantelope"

"Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready."

"Trainer: Are you wearing lipstick? Me: OMG no, that's just wine."