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Joke of the Day

"Rule #0 of the Internet: Nothing you put online, even for a second, can ever be taken down. Drink that in and know it."

"So reddit announced today transparency is important to them. Unless its about Ellen Pao. the end."

"A man was hospitalized with 6 plastic horses up his ass. The doctor described his condition as stable."

"Did you know? Call of duty has been released in Iraq and Afgahnistan as ""The Sims."""

"What's the only thing that grows in Oakland? A: The Crime Rate!"

"I've been shoveling manure all day So don't give me any bullshit."

"I put on a pretty expensive perfume and went into an Apple Store Everyone enjoyed; it is good they don't have any Windows."

"My girlfriend left me for a hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better - they worship cows."

"What did the dead magician say? Abra-cadaver"

"DAD: u can grow up to be anything u want ME: imma be a hamster D: ok not that M: *already building an elaborate series of tubes to run thru*"