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Joke of the Day
"Play Mambo No. 5 at my funeral even if you have to fight my family"
Next Joke
"WAITER: soup or salad? CLARK KENT: *sweating nervously* just a REGULAR salad for a REGULAR guy please ha ha. nothing super about it..."
"Industrial robots How do industrial robots communicate with humans? They use a conveyor belt."
"There's currently a thin shell of space, hurtling through the solar system at 67,000 mile per hour, in which boners must be blurred. ""Japan"""
"I thought nothing could be more embarrassing than finding my dad's playboys in the closet. Until one of them tried to shake my hand."
"Marriage is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit."
"Nuts What do you call nuts on the wall? Wallnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chest nuts. Finally, what do you call nuts on your chin? A dick in your mouth."
"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? You mean you don't know?!"
"There's a question in the exam that said, ""What is the past tense of 'think'?"" So I thought and thought and thought and eventually I picked 'thinked'."
"What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it the day after your divorce comes through."