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Joke of the Day

"Will reddit let me get by with this one? What do the WWE and CNN have in common? They're both fake, but sometimes people still get hurt."

"Do mermaids smoke seaweed?"

"I know it's crazy to think that every time I have deja vu, it's actually happened before, but..."

"I think that time will eventually show that Vanilli was by far the more talented of the two."

"I caught my insane ex going through my garbage, but I guess that's what I get for dating a raccoon."

"'I like the smell of your meat' may not have been the best greeting to the hot waiter at the BBQ joint I picked for lunch."

"Me: ""I have octopus like reflexes."" Person: ""Don't you mean cat like reflexes?"" Me: *squirting him with ink* ""Nope."""

"That was like a weekend camping trip for a sex addicts anonymous group. Fucking intense."

"Me: I have a secret *I take off my wig* Her: I don't care still I love you *I smile, take off my bald cap* Me: you passed the final test"

"""I saw mommy kissing santa claus"" has the same number of syllables as ""I saw someone die at Disney World."" Life's funny like that."