36138

Joke of the Day

"Vet: ""I can see the head... ...here's the neck... ...more neck... ...more neck... ...neck... ...neck... ...neck... ...still more neck... ...neck... ...it's a giraffe!"""

"Q: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A: A nervous wreck."

"""I'm gonna make a cool new social media site for college kids, but only for a few years. Then it'll be a mom scrapbook"" ~ Mark Zuckerberg"

"[feeding baby] Here comes the plane! *baby swallows food* wow you just ate everyone on board. way to go you little jerk"

"What do you call some who is afraid of Santa? Clausetrophobic. I'm here all week."

"What's the difference between a bag of coke and a baby? Eric Clapton would never let a bag of coke fall out of the window."

"Pope joins twitter. Quits being Pope. Takes twittercide to a whole new level. Your move, drama queens."

"For #BackToTheFutureDay try and get your mom to hit on you."

"I like jokes about Ethiopians They never get old."

"I wonder if the people who camp out in front of stores for Black Friday sales realize there are online sales too."