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Joke of the Day
"Why do people with heart disease always lose at poker? They have to take ACE inhibitors."
Next Joke
"Why'd you order the Fish n' Chips? For the Halibut."
"When it's cold out I wear my UGG boots. When it's frustrating out I wear my UGH boots."
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered her today to place bets on how long this marriage will last because these idiots met 2 months ago."
"Why don't people win the lotto Because the NSA runs it"
"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, you'll be a mile away and he'll be barefoot."
"What does it mean when you're on a date and he pushes you in front of a bus?"
"ME: bae, you wanna go out? HER: hell yeah ME: ok pliz close the door on your way out I need to play FIFA alone."
"What do you say when a dog runs away? Dog-gone!"
"You know how some people make food exactly as it appears on the cookbook? I guess you could say they made copy and pasta."