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Joke of the Day

"You know how some people make food exactly as it appears on the cookbook? I guess you could say they made copy and pasta."

Next Joke
 
"[reading Harry Potter] Me: Do you know what's going on? 3-year-old: He went to lizard school. I'd correct her, but her version is better."
"Me: Let's try it have a nice weekend without any fighting, ok? Hub: Agreed Me: Wait, where are you going? Hub: Fishing. See you Monday"
"How do you make endocrine? Endocrine is not a hormone."
"I took a bite out of a vegetable the other day... The nurse was pissed"
"[Job interview] ""Under ""skills"" you have odd compliments."" ""You look like you'd have soft bones. ""Thank you?"""
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance... Barista: Sir your Caffe Mocha is ready. Me: Oh ok nevermind."
"I love you, too because I love you less than three <3"
"I have a shellfish allergy and I got an allergic reaction to it So The Fine Brothers sued me"
"Beyonce made a song called ""Single Ladies"" then went home to her husband and left you lonely hoes dancing in a circle pretending to be happy"