39668

Joke of the Day

"You know how some people make food exactly as it appears on the cookbook? I guess you could say they made copy and pasta."

"Lost my watch at a party once Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch"

"Obamacare? Yeah, more like ""Turn your head and Kafka."" Am I right?"

"If my kid vanished on a plane like in that Jodie Foster movie I'd spend maybe 2-3 hrs enjoying the legroom & quiet before I started looking."

"Why did the Baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo! (I heard this one today and thought I'd share)"

"Here's a FedEx joke. Actually, you'll get it tomorrow."

"Why don't witches wear panties? Better grip"

"Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy."

"How I traveled around the world without spending a nickel. I paid in dimes."

"Two fish are in a tank... One of them says ""hey, how do you drive this thing.."""