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Joke of the Day

"Why did Charles Darwin become a scientist? He was just playing to his strengths. It was really a natural selection."

"A ""good parenting"" blog followed me. Should I let them know how long ago that ship sailed?"

"You all need to stop worrying about Trump becoming the next president... There's no way he's moving into a smaller house in a black neighborhood!"

"[mean joke to girls from guys] I really hope you get the hottest boyfriend So I have a chance on hot girls"

"Did you fall from heaven? Because your face is fucked up."

"ELI5: what is it like being 6? I'm only 5 and I'm about to turn 6."

"You know you're good when they have to add an amendment to the company handbook cause they never thought anyone would do what you did"

"What did the ISIS fighter say when he went to bomb the Hawaiian cafe? ALOHA SNACKBAR"

"I put as much effort into life... As the guy who named the sleeping bag"

"My wife's sexual fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. I think she misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman."