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Joke of the Day

"[superhero meeting] ""What's your enemy called?"" ""Dr Doom. Yours?"" ""Joker"" [stifles laughter] ""I HAVE OTHERS"" ""Ye-"" ""Penguin"" [just loses it]"

"ISIS fighters dress as women in desperate attempt to flee battlefield They literally had to drag themselves out of the battlefield."

"Me: One last drink and then I'm off to the petting zoo Her: Aren't you too drunk to bring the kids to a petting zoo? Me: I have kids?"

"[wife comes home from work] ""why havent you done any of the things i asked you to"" [the dog walks past dressed as a policeman] ive been busy"

"I've just been reading about this toddler in China who fell eight stories out of a window. Apparently he was caught by a woman walking by. The kid was fine, and he was back in work the following day."

"What do Lady Gaga and E. L. James have in common? They both wrote bad romance."

"How does Bilbo take his tea? Bag-in"

"I asked this girl in my class for a rubber... forgot that in the U.S. they call it an eraser"

"Please put away that scary photo, Tina. That's my X-ray. I'm not sure what's worse: the fact you dated a skeleton or that its name was Ray."

"What was the last thing that went through JFK Jr's mind when his plane crashed? The console. What was JFK Jr's wife drinking when the plane crashed? Ocean Spray."