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Joke of the Day

"A news reporter introduces his new co-worker on air This Justin"

"Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? 'cause they're ugly and they stink."

"I've started dating Little Red Riding Hood's gran. She's an animal in bed."

"Please help reconstruct this joke ... The punchline is ""Well, there's cus-turd, and there's mus-turd, and there's you, ya big shit! Run, Myrtle, run!"""

"[interview] What's your greatest weakness? ME: Probably avoiding tough questions Can you elaborate on that? ME: Oh hey look at the time!"

"I'm not trying to be romantic but you have something in your eye. My dick."

"[Request] Guys I need a knock knock joke that ends with a pun relating to Autumn Started the joke but just realized I didn't have an ending planned. Don't fail me reddit!"

"Doctor, the suppositories you prescribed for me are horribly bitter! -- Have you been ... eating them? -- No, I've been shoving them up my ass!"

"Divorce lawyers all over the world are rubbing their hands together in glee now that Twitter DM has a picture function."

"Dad rocks,son shocked! Son - ""Dad whats the difference between confident and confidential?"" Dad - ""Hmm. You are my son. Of that I am confident. Your friend Timmy is also my son. That's confidential."""