196594

Joke of the Day

"Please help reconstruct this joke ... The punchline is ""Well, there's cus-turd, and there's mus-turd, and there's you, ya big shit! Run, Myrtle, run!"""

"Why did Churchill always beat Hitler with scissors in rock, paper, scissors? Because he knew Hitler always threw paper."

"Diplomacy is the art of sending someone to hell in the way that they are looking forward to it."

"It was awkward when she said, ""And yet your feet are so big."""

"What does a baby look like after a minute in the microwave? I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate."

"Man On Bus Asked Me, ""Why Looking So Crabby This Morning?"" I Just Found Out I Have Cancer..."

"What does Nic Cage have in common with Asian fathers? Oh God, not the B's! Not the B's!"

"I have the body of a 20 year old model... Unfortunately it won't fit in my freezer."

"What do you call a train full of Jews? Doesn't matter they're not coming back."

"I was pissed when I dropped my iPhone in the toilet. Not as pissed as the girl I was trying to take pics of though."