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Joke of the Day

"Investment I still wonder if my parents knew humans are not much good of an investment"

"I love my life, but it just wants to be friends..."

"6:30 is the best time on a clock... ...hands down."

"Cop: You look pretty beat up, how many attackers did you say there was? [flashback to me showing the cat my nunchuk skills] Me: Easily 10"

"IT'S THE COPS. COME OUT WITH UR HANDS ABOVE YOUR HEAD. ""Bring out my bread? NO ABOVE UR HEAD ""Hello 911? Ducks are pretending to be cops"""

"What do we want? A cure for Tourettes! When do we want it? dejbxwsishcuntbxwddhiqxbjsbjx!"

"The past, present and the future started fighting. It was in*tense*"

"I asked a pretty homeless woman... I asked a pretty homeless women if I could take her home, she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box."

"Q&A / ALMOST CHOKES IN cinnamon challenge Watch This Guy DO A Q*A And Almost Chokes ON The cinnamon challenge"

"Spinach and Anal Sex What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have either as a child, you'll never enjoy them as an adult."