65979

Joke of the Day

"I asked a pretty homeless woman... I asked a pretty homeless women if I could take her home, she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box."

"My daughters took turns tracing each other over and over with chalk. Now it looks like 25 children were murdered in my driveway."

"Whats the difference between a Rolling Stone and a Scottish man The Rolling Stone says, ""Hey you, get off of my cloud."" and the Scottish man says, ""Hey McLeod get off of my ewe."""

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake all fall off a cliff... Ba-dumm-tss"

"My grandfather told me that our generation depends too much on technology... ...so I unplugged his life support."

"Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful."

"If a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys she's a slut. If I do the same thing then I'm gay"

"How many gays does it take to put in a lightbulb? Only one, but it takes a whole emergency room to remove it."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in 6mths, I don't like to interrupt her."

"These animal crackers are bullshit, this elephant tastes exactly like that giraffe did."