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Joke of the Day

"Spinach and Anal Sex What do spinach and anal sex have in common? If you're forced to have either as a child, you'll never enjoy them as an adult."

"Last night I dreamed of a color I had never seen before. It was a pigment of my imagination."

"I remember when peer pressure was all about drugs and promiscuous sex. Now it's Fitbit and who has the best gluten free recipes."

"(NSFW) Guy walks into his house with a duck under his arm... He walks up to his wife and says, ""This is the pig I've been fucking!"" Wife: ""That's a duck."" Guy: ""I was talking to the duck!"""

"Sometimes I run across a room really fast so a spider sees me out of the corner of its eye and spends the evening worrying where I've gone."

"The best thing about going on a first date to the petting zoo is that if she doesn't put out there are still plenty of options."

"If you watch Jaws backwards, it's about a shark with gastritis that keeps throwing up people until they all have fun on the beach."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, blocking the tv and getting him shot on Call of Duty."

"I bet you are a Taurus... because you are a fat cow."

"Whenever I shake someone's hand as I meet them and they say ""The pleasure's all mine."" I quickly look to see where their other hand is."