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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Toddlers & Tiaras and a scat fetish? One's fucking shit, and the other is a scat fetish. Just made it up, wondered how you guys thought it would be."

"What cloud is so lazy because it will not get up? -Fog"

"What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message."

"What the corniest part of a corn field? The corner."

"ER Doc: you know you could have avoided these 3rd degree burns by walking away from the explosion at regular speed Me: did it look cool tho"

"Me: Choose a mate who loves & respects their mom, but isn't overly dependent on her. Lady: These are 4th graders- Me: THEY NEED TO KNOW THIS"

"What tastes good on pie, but not on pussy? Crust."

"Today, the tree my family planted 15 years ago died and had to be cut down. I'm mourning wood."

"How does Davy Crockett like his pie? Alamo'd"

"""Why's everyone so afraid of clowns?"" Well.. You know what they say about big feet."