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Joke of the Day

"Me: Choose a mate who loves & respects their mom, but isn't overly dependent on her. Lady: These are 4th graders- Me: THEY NEED TO KNOW THIS"

"Steven Tyler is quitting American Idol after two seasons! I sure am going to miss that old lady!!!"

"I heard politicians don't have toilets. They just shit into microphones."

"What do you call a one-eyed deer? I have no eye deer..."

"What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down, and possibly use a lubricant"

"Why did the Russian man keep making excuses? He was just stalin for time"

"How many guys in IT does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to identify that the lightbulb has indeed burned out, and one to call the maintenence man to change the lightbulb."

"SATs Roses are red, Violets are blue. I copied your answers, and I failed too."

"Why is Halloween one of the most popular holidays in West Virginia? It gives them an opportunity to *pump-kin*."

"My boss yelled at me yesterday ""It's the fifth time you've been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!"" I said, ""Probably that it's Friday?""..."