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Joke of the Day

"Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler."

"1st Monster: What is that son of yours doing these days ? 2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh what's he studying ? 2nd Monster: Nothing they're studying him!"

"Capitalization... Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse."

"Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend? Because he had a reptile dysfunction!"

"? Hey there Delilah, this is dispatch please come quickly There's a robbery in progress Suspect is white & in his 50s And high on gluuue ?"

"Convincing someone to have sex is a lot like getting ketchup out of a glass bottle. It's a lot easier with a knife."

"Ladies, try carrying a sausage and 2 apricots in your pocket for a day without them moving and you'll see why we need to readjust ourselves."

"My Dream is to Become the World's Best Procrastinator... But I'll start chasing my dreams another day, I don't feel like it now."

"I hate it when candidates put signs on your lawn without even asking your permission. Who the hell is this 'Foreclosure' guy? And what is he running for?"

"Kennedy put a man on the moon.... Obama put a man in the ladies room."