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Joke of the Day

"1st Monster: What is that son of yours doing these days ? 2nd Monster: He's at medical school. 1st Monster: Oh what's he studying ? 2nd Monster: Nothing they're studying him!"

"My girlfriend was going to take my last name when we get married... but now we're changing it to Clinton so we can get away with anything we want"

"What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium."

"Bank ads make me want to hide my money under my mattress. They also make me want to acquire some money for hiding, but that's a side issue."

"Old ladies are not as fucking helpful as they think they are."

"What do you call an elevator full of white people? A box of crackers."

"If you yawn when you're alone it's because there's a ghost in the room and he yawned first."

"I told my friend about the Muslim slave trade the other day... ""Dubai?"" He asked ""Yes, and sell"" I replied."

"Hot Date: Girl: Sorry, I don't put out on the first date. Me: [on fire] I respect that in a woman."

"What do Donald Trump and Pokemon have in common? The only thing they can say are their name and random bullsh**."