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Joke of the Day
"Why do women love the smell of babies so much? Because 50% of the taste is in the smell."
Next Joke
"I want my funeral to be 20 consecutive moments of silence followed by a first-time bugler playing taps."
"currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out"
"[Spelling Bee] -Your word is phlegm -Can you use it in a sentence? *loudly clears throat for 5 minutes*"
"How many germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Nein"
"How to tell if your cat is a dog: 1) it barks 2) it doesn't hate you 3) someone once said aw cute dog 4) it's like a horse but slower"
"Ernie's roommate asks him if he wants to go out for ice cream. Ernie refuses and proposes an alternative, but his roommate does not understand the response: Sherbert!"
"My kleptomania is getting worse I should definitely take something."
"The next person to tell me a joke about Indians & call centers is getting beaten to death with my snake charming flute."
"Funny how when a guy sleeps with a bunch of girls, he's a stud... But when a girl sleeps with a bunch of studs, she's doing horse porn."