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Joke of the Day

"When I found out my wife was having an affair, I was heartbroken. I turned to religion to cope. Now I'm Muslim and we're stoning her tomorrow."

"Ive decided to run a marathon for charity I didn't want to do it at first, but apparently it's for blind and disabled kids so I think I've got a good chance of winning."

"I'm convinced that this trip to Toronto will end with my being arrested for not being nice enough."

"Once, just once in my life, I'd love a guy to grab me, pull me in close and whisper I'm hunting wabbits."

"Chicago really is the windy city. After all, they did just win de World Series"

"""Cash or Debit?"" ""Did you just assume my tender?!"""

"The whole ""Pavlov's Dog Experiment"" is such a load of bunk I'm sick of people bringing it up... ...at this point just *hearing* the name ""Pavlov"" makes me mad."

"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket, with a dick so long he could suck it. As he wiped off his chin he said with a grin, if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."

"Shout out to the people who... Don't know what the opposite of in is"

"Zoos shouldn't have realistic sculptures of animals. I'm not that smart, people."