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Joke of the Day

"I'm convinced that this trip to Toronto will end with my being arrested for not being nice enough."

"Girl: do you have a condom? Me: c'mon what's the worst that could happen *hears a knock on the door 4: daddy I think I started a fire"

"I showed up to my girlfriend's house. She said, ""Why, don't you look nice!?"" I said, ""Thanks."" ""It wasn't a compliment."" she added."

"How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? Only one but he has to manufacture it first."

"What's the difference between a nun and a woman in the bathtub? The nun has hope in her soul..."

"I'd have sex with you but I'm married... and she's staring at us right now... quick she looked away!"

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms."

"Before you decide to spend less time on social media, make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone."

"I haven't talked to my girlfriend for the last couple days because of my addiction to this new game. I think The Division is really starting to get to her."

"Why did the architect have his house made backwards? So he could watch the football"