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Joke of the Day

"Apparently they don't use the term ""stealth handjob"" in the UK They call it a ""blanket wanket""."

"What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift"

"How do you tune a fish? With its scales!"

"Wanna know what makes me smile? Face muscles"

"My wife installed a mirror over our bed. She said she likes to watch herself laugh."

"Why do nursing homes give men Viagra before they sleep? So they won't roll out of bed."

"[Vegan Conference] Announcer: While we await our key speaker, please talk among yourselves Vegan: I'm a vegan Vegan2: I'm also a vegan"

"And in the news today, Justin Bieber has yet to be shot in a drive by. . ."

"A fat man is in the kitchen preparing vegetables The guest asks ""Are you cutting?"" ""No, I'm not."" ""You should be."""

"Odd how all the intelligent life finding instruments' are pointed away from earth."