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Joke of the Day

"ME: time for sleep BRAIN: what if potatoes could talk ME: ugh BRAIN: and make friends with one another ME: please stop BRAIN: best spuds"

"""IS A DOLPHIN WHAT?!"" - Hitler's wife answering the phone"

"Well you know what they say You can't teach a gay dog straight tricks. -Chef (South Park)"

"a girl told me ""ppl dont look at the sky anymor"" so i walked around looking up & it was beautiful & i bumped right into a kid lookin at bugs"

"How do you make holy water? Boil the *hell* out of it."

"What do you call a nerd after highschool? Boss"

"Tomatoes are a rich source of lycopene (werewolf dick)."

"If buttered toast always lands buttered side down and a cat always lands on its feet what would happen if you tied a pice of buttered toast on the back of a cat and dropped it?"

"Why did we skip windows 9? Because 7 8 9 I'm so sorry"

"Hey girl, do you like trucks? Cause I got a semi."