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Joke of the Day

"Help me Obi Wan Kenobi. You're my only Never mind. Batman's here."

"I sometimes like to close my eyes and imagine a world with no poverty and also that my hand is a woman."

"Yeah, I can't believe the shitty teenager making minimum wage at the coffee shop spelled your name wrong on your cup either."

"I recently found out that they are reviving Full House. The show is called Fuller House, but Bob according to Bob Sagat, its called Filler House."

"How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot before he hits the water."

"Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide"

"Sometimes I tell myself that everything that I've been through in life is totally worth it. Then I laugh hysterically."

"I farted in a full elevator yesterday, it was wrong on so many levels."

"What's the difference between Jews and Harry Potter? Harry Potter escaped the chamber"

"A turtle is crossing the road.... when he is mugged by two snails. When the police show up they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies ""I don't know...it all happened so fast!"""