35707

Joke of the Day

"Okay mum...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook."

"Fish I've got a great pet fish. I called him home. He is an absolutely wonderful fish! You might even say there's no plaice like home!"

"You're like school in the summertime - no class."

"What's invisible and fucks kids? The Zika virus."

"What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist? A Methodist will say hi when he sees you at the liquor store."

"My girlfriend's reason for leaving me was because she still hadn't found what she was looking for I replied with ""oh, U2"""

"Just thought I caught my wife looking at porn; turns out she was shopping for underwear for herself. What a fucking pervert."

"A polite German who never showers walks into a cathouse... ...and does his buisness. All the women then commented on how he had quite a ""gru dich."""

"What did Adam say to Eve on the day before Christmas? ""It's Christmas, Eve."""

"hot dogs were invented in 1936 by Larry Hotdogs when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his Dick Shaper Machine"