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Joke of the Day

"Box of condoms = $6.99 Cashier's face when you ask where the fitting room is = Priceless"

"Little Johnny & the Devil A Sunday school teacher asked Little Johnny, ""Do you believe in the Devil?"" ""No,"" said Little Johnny. ""It's the same as Santa Claus. I know it's my daddy."""

"I have a really good relatipnship with the elevator operator. We speak to eachother on so many different levels."

"If I owned my own strip club, I'd probably name it 'The Museum' 'Cause, you know, no touching. If 'The Museum' worked out, I might open another one and call it ""Blue Balls."" Pretty self explanatory."

"Odd that the silent way to alert performers they should quickly end their act is a gesture to slice your own throat."

"Barack Obama 1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work."

"Women are a lot like heroin. At first you're like, ""Oh geez, this is fun"" then eventually you die."

"I wrote a song about a tortilla. well actually, it's more of a wrap"

"Steven Gerrard has had the worst ending for a Captain Since the Titanic!"

"Crush: ""Hey!"" Me: *Retard mode activated*"