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Joke of the Day

"Crush: ""Hey!"" Me: *Retard mode activated*"

"I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust."

"The best part about being a grown-up is not having to answer to ANYONE! (What's that, honey? Be right there.)"

"THIS JUST IN: Hooters seeks extra support due to unprecedented sagging. So yeah, Hooters is for sale."

"Back when I was a kid we stared at the wall when we took a shit and we liked it!"

"Vagina Knock-Knock Joke Knock knock Who's there? Marquis de Sade Marquis de Sade who? It's taking too long for you to de Sade to open up"

"I'm so tired, I just typed a tweet into my GPS. It responded with directions to my day job."

"What did Jupiter say to Saturn when he found out Saturn was pregnant? Did you planet?"

"Her:How long before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"" Dr.:No one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

"What do you call five black guys having sex? A threesome 3/5ths compromise"