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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cow with one udder? A bull."

"Before I lose my phone, end up naked, high, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish all a Happy Saturday!"

"Let's get a beer Three old guys are out walking. First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?' Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!' Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer..'"

"Did I ever tell you about the worst blowjob I ever got? It was awesome!"

"The plan was to keep eating these alcoholic chocolates until I was either drunk or diabetic. I didn't bargain on ""bankrupt"" being an option."

"I grew up near the man with the record for most concussions. He was just a stone's throw away."

"How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? They all gather around their cash registers and sing ""What a Friend We Have In Jesus..."""

"What's Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND-EYEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Just bit into a Pop Tart so hot that it caused me to involuntarily perform the falsetto ""ah-ha-ha-ha-"" intro to Stayin' Alive"

"On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun."