35506

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I didn't pay 50 bucks to have a lentil on my face last night."

"Thinking about implanting a magnet in my chin so I can make a badass beard of iron filings and paper clips. More attractive, yes?"

"My Google searches read like an alien trying learn how to be a person."

"What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef."

"My favorite joke: What do hillbillies do for Halloween? Pump kin."

"I'm so broke right now, if my gf leaves me for a richer person I'm going with them -__-"

"If I had a dollar for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks. Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined."

"Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says ""if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new...."" ""anything"" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic."

"Where does bitter wine come from? From the grapes of wrath."

"I thought I loved you but it turned out I just had too much coffee."