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Joke of the Day

"Me: .... Dog: ... Me: .... Dog: ... Me: ... Dog: ... Me: .... Dog: ... Me: ... Dog: ... Me: ... Dog: have the shrooms kicked-in yet? Me: .."

"What's the difference between the US and yogurt? If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture."

"Which sex position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your parents."

"Dog pissed about wearing cone after surgery. Dog spends night banging cone against walls, keeping human awake. Dog-1 Human-0"

"Oxygen and magnesium went on a date... OMg!"

"*man invents wheel* ""How can we possibly improve this?"" *Man invents wheel of cheese* ""Nailed it!"""

"I ate a salad today and it contained both eggs and chicken I didn't know where to start."

"We have essentially Elected 4chan for the 45th president of the United States. This is a day that will go down in Infameme."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? If you have to ask, we're not telling you! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? We don't know! -Women's protest rally."

"Judge: Why did you steal that bird? Prisoner: For a lark sir."