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Joke of the Day

"My neighbour has been playing the bongos for over an hour, and I thought he was meditating until I heard him sing ""Yeah, shake that shit..."""

"Why can't you lift weights on Monday? It's a week day."

"King George. One day George is going to be king, thats not bad going for some one who started at Asda."

"Justin has his Beliebers. 1D have their Directioners. If I ever had fans/stalkers I'd call them Tomaskateers."

"I love my yoga pants. I have no idea what they have to do with yoga, but they're great for drinking, smoking and tweeting."

"And the lord said to John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But john came fifth, and only won a toaster!"

"What do you call a sexually repressed bandit? Rubbin' Hood"

"When I was a little kid, I had this friend that was always counting. I wonder what he's up to these days."

"What would Dorothy have said if she practiced Yoga instead of new age magical thinking? There's no place like OM."

"Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?"