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Joke of the Day

"What do a thug and hillbilly have in common? They both like to throw a hoedown."

"I'm going to need to see a warrant before you look through any pictures on my phone besides the one I show you."

"There's nothing in SkyMall that I don't want to buy."

"What do you call a funny jar of mayonnaise? Lmayo."

"Personal Trainer: No pain, no gain Me: Deal"

"A Roman gladiator walks into a bar... ...and holds up two fingers. ""Give me five beers, please."""

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs. God please don't kill Kevin Bacon."

"What is a British Scholar's favorite store? Finks"

"Tonight I'm going to party like it's 1999 Because back then the worst thing I had to worry about was just a computer glitch destroying civilization."

"How did R. Kelly's girlfriend feel when she found out he's into watersports? She was pissed."