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Joke of the Day

"I'm very keen I could tell he was bald at the drop of a hat."

"What's a let down Chinese lobster called? A crushed asian"

"My friend Stephen misheard me when I invited him to this CrossFit gym. He's going to have a hell of a time running in stilettos."

"[solicitor reading my will] ""He [takes off glasses & pinches bridge of nose], He wants to donate his arm to the drummer from Def Leppard""."

"Since instagram is down I'm not sure if there was a sunrise today or if anyone ate any food? I feel lost."

"What does an airplane and a female have in common? They both have cockpits."

"*jumps out of plane* *begins reading parachute instruction manual* STEP 1: PUT ON PARACHUTE *looks up* Well hell"

"Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says ""I'm going to have to cancel tonight"""

"I was playing with my new toaster in the bathtub today when I read the warning label and it said not to. I was shocked."

"Why do lesbians have cats? They're into pussies.(;"