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Joke of the Day

"Having to hide your euphoria when a friend says ""I'm going to have to cancel tonight"""

"Why can't Micheal Bay be a farmer? Because he dosen't have a plot."

"If a group of lions is called a pride, then a group of humans should be called an embarrassment."

"What do you call an 8 day long blowjob? Hanukkah Lewinski"

"What do you call 4 lepers in a jacuzzi? Stew"

"This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is funny and spontaneous', yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it's all panic and screaming."

"What Does A Subatomic Duck Say? QUARK!"

"Someone told me to go fuck myself /r/selffuck was a great place to start!"

"I've only taught my parrot to say ""REPETITION"" so far. Next I'm going to teach him to say ""IRONY AND ANNOYING ARE SYNONYMS"". ""SQUAWK!"""

"What's an archaeologist? Someone whose career is in ruins."