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Joke of the Day

"Before and After marriage! What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married? Feyonce."

"What do you get if you cross a giant ship with the Internet? The Site-anic."

"Boyfriend's on the phone talking to a guy about lattes and his love of peach scones. I'm on the couch wondering when our periods synced."

"Why did the apple eat itself with a fork? Because it didn't have a spoon! (Courtesy of my three year old daughter.)"

"What does an egg say when he gets turnt? Om lit cred: my friend DaMexicanBurrito from playstation."

"TIFU by getting fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off."

"What will reddit never know? Victoria's Secret..."

"Just found out that McDonald's is serving all-day breakfast ... ... all day breakfast? I don't have that kind of time."

"If a blonde and a brunette were tossed off a building together, who would hit the ground first? The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions."

"So my friends played a practical joke on me They gave me a candy bar & told me it was chocolate, but it was actually carob. Fucking carob terrorists!"