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Joke of the Day

"Today we are offering the twin tower special... Two can dine for $9.11. Desert is $7.47 each."

"What did the duck say to the prostitute? Put it on my bill"

"TIL Calaway's Law states that ""the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer."" Now we wait."

"What did a blonde's mother tell her blonde daughter? If you're not in bed by midnight, come home."

"How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? That's not funny."

"I named my son ""Tennis"" but he doesn't mind being bullied about it. He's a good sport really."

"Q: What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus? A: It only takes one nail to hang the picture."

"/r/jokes won't get this Original jokes"

"My girlfriend buys candles the same way I buy weed. She looks at the color, opens it and smells it, buys it, then lights it on fire to relax"

"5-year-old: My teacher said this project needs adult supervision. Me: OK, what do you need me to do? 5-year-old: Go find Mom."