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Joke of the Day

"Apparently showing the pharmacist a picture of my wife was not a good enough reason to get Valium without a prescription."

"I told my friends this story about an orca... It was a killer whale of a time"

"What's another nickname for Donald Trump? ##The Annoying Orange."

"I've seen some bad thieves in my life before... But this one couldn't even take the cake!"

"SAE used to be jokingly called Somebody Anybody Everybody I guess they wanted to make it clear that wasn't true."

"I'll be signing copies of my tweets this Friday at Barnes & Noble in Salt Lake City! Just meet me by the bathrooms at 5:30 & bring a pen."

"Fart Jokes Are sometimes shitty."

"Lifes all fun and games till you realize Casper's a dead child."

"Top Joke in Scotland I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather. Not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"So a 14 year old girl goes to the doctor for a checkup... He puts the stethoscope up to her heart and says, ""Big breaths."" And she says, ""Thankth! I grew them mythelf!"""